Comparison is the Thief of Joy

I remember talking to a friend who said something like “I wish I was like you. You have all these things going for you.” And they preceded to list off all the things that they thought were going right in my life. I must have stared back at them in disbelief.  I didn’t know why they would want a life like mine when I seemed to think that their life was running much smoother and just better in general.

            Have you ever wondered what people see, and what they think, when they look at your life? I know my life isn’t what it seems to be. But if anyone was to compare their life to mine, they might not like the results. What people use when they compare my life to theirs, and what I see when I compare my life to others’, isn’t a complete image.

            I imagine that when people look at my life they see a cute young girl, going to college, making a ton of friends, doing service, passing classes, and adventuring around the world. I imagine they probably think she knows what she is doing with her life and that she is confident in her decisions with college and travel. They probably see someone with a perfect family life and a great dating life. I imagine they see someone who is always happy, always willing to talk, always thinking about others, and always on a date with a new boy.

            I can certainly say that this image isn’t me. But I guess I should also take the blame for putting this image in people’s minds. My Instagram page is full of pictures of beaches, mountains, friends, family, temples, cathedrals, races and other various adventures and experiences.

            And although that is me in an undetailed summary, no one should compare themselves to that image. It’s not a complete image of who I am. A complete image of me would include a girl stressed out of her mind trying to balance classes, friends, homework, dates, service, and church callings. They should really imagine someone who doesn’t know what she is doing in life and is trying to figure things out, but rarely feels like she is moving forward. A proper image would show a girl getting friend zoned as often as she friend zones, a girl who worries if she will actually find someone who is willing to stick around forever. A proper image would be of a girl crying more than she sleeps while being on a trip in a foreign country, a girl that tries to fake a smile and help others with their problems instead of help herself.

            It is easy to find myself looking at other people’s lives. I am quick to think:

I wish I had a pace like Joe.

I wish I had as many friends as Emily.

I wish I was as sweet as Jen.

I wish I was as happy as Bob.

I wish I had a relationship like Adam and Liz.

I wish I was as smart as Chad.

I wish I was as pretty as Hailey.

            And so on and so on.

            And that sucks. It sucks because I am comparing something that I don’t see as being adequate in myself to something that I see as satisfactory in them. And it sucks because I am judging their whole life based on just a few aspects. Just because someone has a good running pace, passing grades, or a beautiful face doesn’t mean their life is perfect.

            I try to be as real as I can be, especially on this blog, but somehow, I feel I am hiding the true image of me. So, to anyone who compares their life to mine, don’t. If you wish you had a family like mine, if you wish you went on as many dates as I do, if you wish you were as happy as me, just know it’s not as glamorous as it seems. Every “good” thing you see in my life, comes with its fair share of negatives. Please, just don’t compare yourself to me, or to anyone else. Your life is awesome, and can be even more so if you just compare your life to what you want it to be. Every life has its positives. Every life has its negatives. I don’t want yours, and you don’t want mine.