A Letter to the Boy Who Passed Me on Campus

To the boy that smiled as he passed me on campus,

            Hey, you probably don’t remember me. You probably smile at hundreds of people in passing every day. To be honest, I don’t know why you would remember me. I was just the small white girl with straggly dirty blonde curls and a faded Russia shirt. Nothing about me really stuck out, and quite honestly, I don’t know if I would be able to remember all the people I smile at in passing during the day either. But as you passed with a smile that I matched willingly, I wondered if you knew what that smile entailed. I wondered if you knew what that smile hid. I wondered if you actually cared.

·         Because that smile hid anger from failed homework assignments. It hid the frustrations of not being able to figure out the problems in my economics class with the resources the teacher provided.

·         It hid the stress of having four exams this week and trying to study efficiently and effectively for each of those.

·         It hid the hurt of having a boy I really like deny a date and then ghost me.

·         It hid the pain of finding out that my father was admitted back into the hospital from complications from surgery.

            That smile failed to disclose my problems to you.

            And I knew that you had no idea what my smile hid just as I had no idea what your smile showed.

·         Did your smile show that you landed a new job that day, or that it was your payday?

·         Did your smile show that you just got into a relationship with the girl of your dreams or you had picked out a ring recently?

·         Did your smile say that you had passed all your exams and that you were close to graduating?

·         Did your smile tell me that you were having a great day and the sun was shining down on you?

            Or maybe, dear boy in the bright blue jacket and classic Vans, maybe you are just as broken as I am. Maybe that smile was as fake as mine, and was just an attempt to make this snow filled campus a little brighter. Maybe my smile was the same attempt.

       So, thank you for the smile; thank you for your effort in bringing happiness.

             And thank you for provoking this train of thought in my mind, to remind me to be more understanding of all those around me. Don’t confuse my smile with a perfect life, and I’ll try to do the same with yours.

                                                                                    Sincerely,

                                                                                                The girl who smiled back